“Dear Aunt Aggie, how can I deal with this? I have an old friend in her sixties who never stops phoning me day or night. Sometimes she keeps me on the phone for an hour or more, talking about nothing at all! I think she's just lonely, and I want to help, I really do, but it's just getting too much of a burden.” — from Kath in Kenton, age 54
Loving Aunt Aggie replies: What a nightmare! You want to help, but it's just too much. We must understand, dear, that loneliness can be a terrible thing, especially for old people like you and your friends. You are probably correct in thinking she needs company and you have proved yourself to be very loyal and tolerant.
Perhaps you are frightened of offending her and totally lacking in self-confidence, which is why you cannot bring yourself to tell her to get lost. Or are you one of these insecure people who “wouldn't say boo to a goose”, which is what your friend is relying on – in order to twist you round her little finger? Would finding a job not better fill your days than hanging onto the end of a telephone?
I believe counselling would be in your best interests. There are many self-assertion courses available, and if they fail you could see your doctor for some tranquillisers. But with someone as undetermined and lacking in confidence as yourself, you may have to move house and change your identity in order to be rid of these nuisance calls.
My advice is to move house as soon as possible and to be on the safe side, not to get the phone installed, since people with your lack of personality will never be able to stand up to anyone, and are known to attract all kinds of questionable people and who most likely, like yourself, need psychiatric treatment and counselling.